When the world falls, and the night crumbles.

This picture was taken on a beautiful day during my walk with my dog, Marco. Lately, I've been feeling trapped, stuck, helpless, and hopeless after losing my camper van, I also lost all my freedom and a home. It felt as I was going to fall into the lowest point of my life, once again. The sun was about to set below the ocean horizon between the clouds. I sat on the grass with Marco while immersing myself in the beautiful view to sooth the pain inside. Then, I noticed as the light shined through between the clouds it created a shape that looked like a lion's head. To me, the lion is a symbol of strength. Synchronicity? Perhaps, it was a reminder from Spirits that I need to stay strong and not give up. That night, I cried myself a river for hours.

Recently, my biggest nightmare became a reality!

My beloved 30-year-old camper van, in which I had traveled and lived for the past 6 years, crashed on the Trans Canada Highway. The entire rear end was completely destroyed and caught on fire. Unfortunately, there weren't any parts available for a van of that age, so it wasn't possible to restore it. However, I'm grateful that despite the horrifying incident, there was no gasoline leaking at the time of the fire, and both my dog and I were safe. Several kind-hearted people passing by stopped to help extinguish the fire. In an instant, my van was gone, leaving me feeling shocked and stranded. I had no place to go and no friends or family nearby to ask for help. I had to call for a tow truck, but I didn't have a destination in mind, as I didn't know anyone in the area. In that moment, I wished it was all just a bad dream and not reality. I couldn't believe what was unfolding before my eyes, and I longed to wake up and find that everything was okay and I was still living my beloved van life. As hard as it was to accept, it wasn't a dream.

After the incident, it took me several weeks to come to terms with the reality. I am no longer living the van life; it's gone! The van provided me with the freedom to go wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted - to be nowhere and everywhere at the same time. But now, even a simple trip to the grocery store requires me to ask for help, as there's no public transit in this small town. I felt like I had hit rock bottom once again. I felt completely powerless and helpless.

I've been here before in this place 10 years ago. It's all so familiar.

Only this time, I have gained enough experience and have enough tools to not go down to the bottom of the rabbit hole like last time. I refuse to give it all up and be defeated like I was 10 years ago. I try to remain calm and centered and avoid stirring up trouble. I stay grounded as much as I can by going on walks with my dog, Marco, walking on grass, and immersing myself in the energies of the ocean and mountains. I stick to my routines to anchor myself and adjust to this unusual situation. I release my emotions through journaling, listening to soothing sounds, meditating daily, and using Reiki to clear negative energy and help with healing. I've realized that self-care is crucial during tough times, and I need to support myself more than ever. Despite the challenging circumstances, I did not panic or become angry. Just two weeks after the incident, I was able to find suitable accommodation, which is rare considering I have a dog and we're in the countryside. And I couldn't survive in my van for too long with limited water, shower, and propane for cooking and staying warm. What a silver lining!

I am extremely grateful to have a safe place to stay. Instead of asking why this happened to me, I am asking what lesson I am learning here. I believe that everything happens for a reason and that everything happens for you, not to you. Ten years ago, my whole world was turned upside down, which led me to live my nomadic dream in this beautiful camper van. Because of that fall, I found a new sense of freedom.

For the last several months, I have been feeling that it's time for me to transition to a higher state of consciousness, and this van life has served its purpose; perhaps I was meant to let it go. I have been wanting to transition to a different lifestyle, I just didn't expect it to be this drastic and disruptive. But I know that there are still lessons in it that I need to learn and grow from. Perhaps, it needed to happen so I could hone and master everything I have learned in personal growth and energy healing. But it does hurt a lot, I cried and cried for several hours to let out all of that stuck emotion. The next day, I felt so much lighter and more uplifted, a sense of hope was restored.

Emotionally, I have been able to recover a lot faster than 10 years ago. I am eager to get back on track, on my feet, and catch up on everything I have put on hold. When I felt stuck and frustrated, I asked myself if none of this happened and I still had my freedom, what would it be like, what would I be doing?

I would be flying in the sky, conducting sound healing sessions, and practicing Reiki all over Nova Scotia. That's exactly why I'm hosting these Reiki sessions. I'm doing this to free myself from feeling trapped while helping others. I know I'm not the only one going through a tough time. This year has been very intense energetically, with lots of powerful planetary movements. As I can't go around freely to conduct sound healing sessions, I hope that I can help others who are going through a tough time like I am with Reiki. I needed to continue on with my goals and purpose, no matter what the circumstances.